Princess Kate attended a family soiree

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Dearest Kate,

I see that you had some family business to take care of recently with your hubby. 

I know it’s hard to keep impressing the Queen Mama.. but it was a celebration in her honor so you had no other choice.

But, it looks like you were doing fine.

Your dress was lovely.

Your hat was divine.

The small clutch matched your shoes perfectly.

So far..things were going really great at this event.

But, I am not sure what you can do with your tired looking eyes.

I blame that on being a mama.

Glad to see your doing well.

Signed,

A concerned friend.

 

Duchess Kate has been busy!

Dearest Kate,

I am so glad you made it back from your whirlwind India/Bhutan trip with hubby.

I loved seeing all your wardrobe changes. 

And the colors you wore were amazing!

I know it must have been hot and uncomfortable…. because having a good hair day in those conditions was challenging.

You mixed it up though.  A good hair braid does wonders!

I also see that you have been entertaining a little more in your home.

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The Obamas looked very comfortable sitting on your couch.

You even had Prince Harry visit.  

Also, it was really thoughtful of you to put your son in a robe/smoking jacket.

That was definitely a good idea since it keeps him on the path of  becoming “a man of leisure.”

Oh well.

I am sure you want to relax and watch some TV now.

Talk to you soon.

Signed,

A concerned friend.

 

 

 

 

Please leave Kate alone. Thank you.

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Dear Kate,

Hey girl!  It’s been a few weeks since I last wrote to you. Happy New Year! 

I like to check in with you periodically to see how your New Year is starting off and also to see if you ever decided on that Caribbean vacation?  No?  Well..that’s ok.  Your best bet is to avoid that area anyways because of the Zika Virus.

Oh well.  

Recently there has been a lot of drama surrounding your newly defined eyebrows.

I wish everyone would just give you a break..it’s hard to look pretty all the time.  And most women at one time or another are guilty of over filling our eyebrows.  Once you start it’s hard to stop!  

You should tell everyone to buggar off or something British like that.

In my opinion it looks like you just had a lousy night’s sleep.  

I mean…doesn’t anyone remember you just gave birth to a baby girl last summer?  Duh!

You are still in the throws of infancy development.  

Also, I am sure you are doing a lot of the caretaking .. so of course you must have been up all night with some baby issues.  You have my support.  I won’t judge you like the others.    One thing though… I do have some bad news.

Rumor has it that you are preggo again…with twins.

OK! magazine broke the story so you should tell William the bad news.

Anyways,  hang in there and keep on being you!

Signed,

A concerned friend.

 

 

 

 

Prince has the Daddy Blues…

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Dearest Kate,

It’s been a few months since I last wrote to you.  I see you are holding up well over the holidays…and ….Happy New Year!

I am so happy that you were able to fit in one of those holiday portrait sittings.  Those are really important for future #tbt or memories and all that.

I didn’t see the rambling Christmas letter though…….but that’s ok. Maybe you were super busy?  Oh well.

The reason I am writing is because word on the street is that Prince hubby is getting super emotional about being a Daddy.  It’s the hidden illness that isn’t talked about:  The Daddy Blues.

He’s probably very sentimental right now…seeing his prince and princesses growing up.  Maybe it’s time for another?

I know you might be laughing about that crazy statement.  But, hubby might need another baby so he won’t have time to be sentimental and all that because he’ll be too busy working to provide for his big family.

By the way, I am glad you are “keeping it together” and not suffering from the womanly postpartum blues.   

However….Prince William is calling out for help.  You might want to consider a respite with your handsome Prince William.

So get him to the Caribbean as fast as you can!

A good dose of Vitamin D stomps out those winter blues.

I know.  You have a lot of things on your mind, like your children, but go ahead and book that vacay with all the frills as soon as possible.

Believe me.   He will be happy and relieved you did something to help him out.

Oh well.  It’s good to see you happy and the kids look great!

Take care and I’ll speak to you soon.

 

 

Duchess Kate needs a Spa Day!

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Dear Kate, 

Hi!  It has been a few months since I last wrote to you.  I hope all is well on your side of the pond.

It’s nice to see you doing solo engagements and curling your hair and wearing a dress with some heels.  

I hope baby Charlotte is well.  

It has been a few months already since you birthed her.  I know a new baby can reek havoc on a woman’s beauty routine.

How is the baby?  We haven’t really seen much of her out in public.

Is there anything wrong?

I hope not.

It looks like Prince William has you traveling with him for engagements.  Your royal duty always awaits!

I hope he squeezes in a spa day for you or a fancy dinner.  Having a newborn takes a lot out of a marriage.

Which brings me to your nails.  

I can excuse your lack of a manicure in this picture…well…because I know that’s low on your priority list.  

Besides, you already won the prize of marrying a prince.

And out of all the people in this world… it’s you who can miss a manicure once in a while.

It makes you humanlike and relatable.  

For example, I can go weeks without a polished nail.

Oh well.  Talk to you soon.  

Please share new pics of baby Charlotte before she turns into a toddler.

All my best!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kate wears a long shirt

Dear Kate, Duchess of Cambridge,

Holy Moly!  You are amazing girl!

You must be one of those “rebound mommies”,  you know, Mom’s who never looked like they had a baby 6 weeks ago.

An example of those mamas are Halle Berry, Kate Hudson ( only after her last baby) , Angelina Jolie, and maybe Jennifer Garner.  

I know that you probably wearing some Spanx… but that’s ok.  

Just remember to always have your shirt tail longer than your waistline, so no one can peek at your old pregnancy belly.

Well, I know your super busy with those babies and Prince William.

Cheers.

Dear Kate….your baby portrait session is amazing!

Dear Kate, Duchess of Cambridge,

Wow!  What can I say?

I just saw your cute little picture of your baby Charlotte with her older brother, George.  

You rock Kate!  It was color coordinated perfectly.

It’s so refreshing to see your name as the copyrighted image of this picture.  

The Kardashian’ s certainly would not stoop to this same level.  Even Caitlyn Jenner, who has only been a girl for a few weeks, hired Annie Leibowitz as her personal portrait maker.

Something is a miss with the world!  

Royalty taking their own pictures…..The Kardashian’s and Jenner’s hiring famous photographers…  life doesn’t seem fair.

I digress.

I know it’s been a few weeks since I last wrote to you, but thanks for keeping us up to date with the royal baby news.

It looks like you must be feeling like yourself again to take time from your busy mommy -ing, and set up a picture worthy baby portrait session.

We love it!

Well, hope to hear from you soon.  But, I understand if you’re busy or something.

Cheers!

Dear Kate..some tips on taking care of baby Charlotte….

Dear Kate, Duchess of Cambridge,

Hello again!  Just checking in to see how you are holding up with the new baby at home.

It’s been about two weeks now since beautiful Charlotte was born.  I hope Prince William is helping with the diapers.

(Please note,  I am sure you are super busy, so this letter will only take a few minutes. Please tell that crazy bachelor brother-in-law of yours, Harry,  to stay away.  Prince William is going to get jealous of his brother’s freedom soon.  

Kate,  these next few weeks are called the transition period in the newborn phase, so it’s super important for me to write to you!

Here are some tips I read about in “Raising a Princess after she has been home for a few weeks…”  

Important Princess tips:  

  1. Baby Charlotte will be more alert now, and is aware of her diaper “fashion”.  She does care a lot about how she looks. My advice to you is buy her some Jessica Alba Honest diapers with cutesy prints on t423112b8f74f46ec40dfce14835fe6cchem.  If it’s good enough for an actresses child, it’s good enough for your Princess.  Her bum is super important during this phase.
  2. Baby Charlotte will still be napping quite often, but when she is awake, she’ll require everyone to pay attention to her and only her..No one should pay any attention to her brother or the family dog. Enroll Baby George in preschool now… send the dog out for a walk.  
  3. She may cry a little louder now, but really, she is practicing her blame game on her brother.  Useful! A Princess is always right.
  4. Prince Harry and her other Uncle will only be allowed to hold her facing outwards, in one of those baby carriers..  Charlotte can not have ANY eye contact or become attached to ANY male figure other than her Daddy.
  5. Her bottles must be kept warm, and ready to go at a moments notice.  She is learning the art of instant gratification, which is important to a Princess.
  6. Baby Charlotte will inspect all clothing from here on out…she will not allow any clothing in her closet under $1000.00.  Hopefully, Godfather Elton John, or other famous Uncles and Aunties gave baby gifts of designer baby couture…
  7. For any new princess,  she will need to have some updates on other royal babies being born… . and no…. that does not include any of the Kardashian babies….just royalty only….she needs to step up her game now before it’s too late.

Ok.  That’s seems about right for now.  Good luck with the next few weeks…I heard after 6 weeks at home, the baby becomes very demanding…Maybe I will write you then.. Ta ta!

Cheers!

Dear Kate….just checking in…how’s baby Charlotte?

Dear Kate, Duchess of Cambridge,

I hope your short week at home has been restful.  I know England is still super excited about its new member of the Royal family.

I even saw Chef Jamie Oliver make a special Charlotte cake for teatime.  That’s like….. amazing!

I am sure baby Charlotte is making herself comfortable in the castle.  I think I saw her grimace once,  when all the twitter world was talking about the Sex and the City stuff.  

I know that must have been a low point in her early life.  But, scandals, gossip, and mockery usually fizzle out.

Sadly, there will always be gossip when you’re famous.  Remember this advice.

For example, what’s all the fuss about that Charles Spencer dude? I heard he also has a daughter named Charlotte.

Are your families not speaking to one another?

That seems like important information to have considered when you were naming your new daughter.

I feel sorry for the original Charlotte, ’cause now your daughter has taken over her namesake.  Ugh.  The inhumanity of it all!

Well, hope all is well, and that Prince William hasn’t booked you for some appearances next week, where it requires you to put on hosiery again.  That dress, by the way,  is still fresh in my mind.  Classy!

Let that belly bounce back on it’s own.

Don’t start doing that thing Kim Kardashian and Jessica Alba did, you know, “corsetting.”   The Victorian Age is long gone.  Ask your grandmum-in-law about that!

Ok.  Nice speaking to you.  I know you’re busy with the baby and I heard that Uncle Harry might be stopping by later, and you know that requires a lot of attention.

Cheers.

Dear Kate….Charlotte is a classy name!

Dear Kate, Duchess of Cambridge,

I hope you received my last letter congratulating you on the birth of your new Princess.

Secondly, I am still disappointed in William..he really dropped the ball this time.  You do deserve an overnight stay in a hospital..or at least a goodnight sleep without a baby and toddler annoying you.

I won’t complain anymore about that issue, cause I am classy, but I wanted to say great choice on the baby name.

I love Charlotte!

I don’t know if you watched Sex in the City?  It was years ago.  But the classiest girl of them all was Charlotte.

She had a cute spaniel, a sophisticated wardrobe, and was the most demure of all the women on the show.  You know the others were really messed up… I think they all had daddy issues.

But, Charlotte will certainly be a good role model for your daughter.  Spoiler Alert! ..she did get a little weird at the end of the season when she was all upset about marriage and having babies.

But, I think your Charlotte will do just fine.

Ok.

That’s it.   Congrats on the baby, and remember, you are in charge.

Cheers.