Prop food or Real food?

The SAG awards were on last night and it was the biggest snooze fest around.

But, I only have one question. Was the food at the guests tables to be eaten or was it just “prop food”?

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Homemade Apple Crisp only feeds Two

Why is it when you decide to make an apple crisp…  and cut up 6 apples and mix all the dry ingredients…it looks like it can only feed two people?

Disgusted.

That’s all.

 

 

Anne and her Circle Dress

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Anne is still struggling to find her perfect pregnancy look.

For example, this look above proudly features circle patterns.

When she chose her “circle” themed dress….what was she really trying to say?

Here is a pretend convo she might have had with her stylist:

Anne:   Hi! …we have this LA art function thing…but I feel really fat.

Stylist friend:  Well…how bout we try some new dresses that I just bought?

Anne:  Ok…I really love this circle dress…it like mimics my big circle underneath.

Stylist friend:  It’s like amazing.  And its in your favorite colors of black and white.

Anne:  Yes..I was looking through my paparrazi photos and I have been wearing a lot of those colors lately.  Are you sure I shouldn’t wear pink or gold or something? 

Stylist friend:  No.  Black is like preggo chic..and always hides fat and all that.

Anne:  But, you know Kim Kardashian and Chrissy Teigen swear by stretchy dresses and overcoats.  They seem to not care so much.  How bout I try that look?

Stylist friend:  Uhhh….well….I guess we could.  But, all I brought were these circle dresses.

Anne:  Ugh.  You are making me look so matronly.  I am only pregnant…I am not a 50 year old lady.  You’re fired!   I don’t have time for this..

 

 

 

 

Why me?

Chrissy Teigen is in the midst of her “why me?”  pregnancy.  I call it that because she is having a lot of bad luck lately. chrissy-teigen-john-legend-sundance-jan-2016 Here are some recent developments:

  1. Her new talk show “Fablife” was recently canceled.
  2. She can’t stop getting into twitter rants with complete strangers.  Just look at some of her recent tweets.
  3. She is probably realizing that her swimsuit career will be over once she has her baby girl.
  4. And finally, all that she has left is her DJ hosting show Lip Sync Battles which airs on Spike TV.  Yes….Spike TV.

But, she is married to John Legend.  So… that makes everything all better.

 

 

 

Anne Hathaway continues to inspire

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Oh Anne Hathaway.

Is this really the look you want your unborn child to remember you for?

Let’s breakdown your recent look.

  1. Your sweater is doing its job…highlighting your growing belly with it’s crisscross shape.
  2. Your gym tights, on the otherhand,  are kinda saying to everyone..yes…”maybe we will work out or maybe we won’t”.
  3. Your beanie/mushroom hat is screaming “help me!”
  4. Finally, those sunglasses are huge….but it doesn’t distract us away from your belly.

Please Anne…you only have a few more months to figure out your pregnancy style.

Please ask Chrissy Teigen or Kim Kardashian for some pointers.

 

 

 

Golden Globes Hierarchy

The Golden Globes are on tonight which means that at around 5:00 to 8:00 pm this evening a glorious fashion show will be parading on the television.

Ricky Gervais is hosting again this year.

I am looking forward to seeing who is sitting at the coveted power table.  That’s the table smack dab in the middle of the room, near the stage.  

That seems to be the best table in the room.  Also, whoever sits at that table is probably considered the most popular and powerful player in Hollywood.

Everyone knows the hierarchy of table arranging and if you are near the front of the room…you are still in.  If you are in the back of the room…. well you are probably on your way out of Hollywood. 

To all those actors on a popular TV show, your table usually sits in the upper tiers or by the wall which divides the room into two levels.  So, you are always on the way out the door with your career.  Last year, I think the cast of Mad Men or Grey’s Anatomy sat in that area.

TV has a way of doing that to seasoned actors.  Now that JLO is on a new tv drama series..she is walking a fine line.  Halle Barry did TV a year ago…now  look at her career!

 So, if you are a movie star turned TV actor star…don’t go to the Globes.  Your career is in jeopardy!   

I digress…

Next year, the Golden Globes should be moreinteractive with the public and post seating charts of all the tables in the room.

Then we can see if Ben Affleck will continue his career in Hollywood or see if Anne Hathaway is being replaced by a younger actress…she is pregnant by the way.

Otherwise, the only way we can see who is trying to kiss up to one another…especially with an important Hollywood person….. is by pausing the DVR before and after the commercial breaks.

That is usually the time when you can see the fears of actresses, the insecurities of men or notice a lot of drunk actors and actresses.  I think its funny when you can see them with their guard down.  Especially at the Golden Globes.  It’s like a holiday party with a lot of drunk people.  

 I always notice Kate Hudson and Angelina Jolie or Colin Farrell talking to one another.  Even Amy Adams and Robert Dinero have some chit-chit.  Especially those actors lurking around like they are looking for their next meal.  It’s very funny.  

For example, Kate Winslet was really good at hunting down Leo Dicaprio a few years back….but now where is she?  

She looked like a super stalker.  In fact, I think Kate had a crush on him..But, sadly after the movie Titanic..he wanted nothing to do with her.   

That Golden Globes stalking thing is a career killer.  Sorry Kate.  

 

Caitlyn Jenner and Leopard Prints

 

Now onto Caitlyn Jenner.

Caitlyn Jenner seems mighty comfortable wearing heels.  

Also, at a recent photoshoot,  she changed her hairstyle into an old school  “country music star” hairdo.  Think of a young Loretta Lynn or a 1970s Dolly Parton.    

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As I was observing…..

I am not sure what magazine she was modeling for…but anything requiring a leopard print can’t be on the same level as a Kardashian photoshoot.  

Sure Kim may have at one time sported some leopard…but Kayne oversees all her wardrobe choices now.  And leopard is probably a no-no.

Poor Caitlyn.  

Who can judge her?

She really hasn’t had a lot of time modeling and understanding the power of good fashion.

She probably says “yes!” to all photoshoots that come her way.  Why not?  She’s put a lot of money into her new look.

Oh well.  

Since I wasn’t there on the actual shoot, I will reserve judgement and only observe.   

These are my key takeaways of Caitlyn’s recent photoshoot:

  1. Her hair was high.
  2. Her lipgloss was glossy.
  3. …and she easily perfected the “pissed off  diva look”.  A look that many a Kardashian woman has had ..including Khloe.  It’s a normal reaction after spending about 3 hours in hair and makeup.

 

 Ok.  That’s all for now.

Prince has the Daddy Blues…

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Dearest Kate,

It’s been a few months since I last wrote to you.  I see you are holding up well over the holidays…and ….Happy New Year!

I am so happy that you were able to fit in one of those holiday portrait sittings.  Those are really important for future #tbt or memories and all that.

I didn’t see the rambling Christmas letter though…….but that’s ok. Maybe you were super busy?  Oh well.

The reason I am writing is because word on the street is that Prince hubby is getting super emotional about being a Daddy.  It’s the hidden illness that isn’t talked about:  The Daddy Blues.

He’s probably very sentimental right now…seeing his prince and princesses growing up.  Maybe it’s time for another?

I know you might be laughing about that crazy statement.  But, hubby might need another baby so he won’t have time to be sentimental and all that because he’ll be too busy working to provide for his big family.

By the way, I am glad you are “keeping it together” and not suffering from the womanly postpartum blues.   

However….Prince William is calling out for help.  You might want to consider a respite with your handsome Prince William.

So get him to the Caribbean as fast as you can!

A good dose of Vitamin D stomps out those winter blues.

I know.  You have a lot of things on your mind, like your children, but go ahead and book that vacay with all the frills as soon as possible.

Believe me.   He will be happy and relieved you did something to help him out.

Oh well.  It’s good to see you happy and the kids look great!

Take care and I’ll speak to you soon.

 

 

Anne has decided to go for it!

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Well…isn’t this amazing!?

My New Year’s goal of blogging about Anne Hathaway and Chrissy Teigen’s pregnancy is starting off with a winner.

Anne…I know I haven’t been too kind to you when focusing on your latest fashions but you have definitely stepped up your game.

For example, Chrissy has been holding a slight edge to your preggo fashion game but I think you are topping her now.

On Chrissy’s recent vacation she sported only a one piece swimsuit.  

You, on the otherhand, went all out!  Kudos!    

I am glad to see that you are starting to figure out this celebrity pregnancy thing.

 I mean…this is your time to take risks and go for it.. and the Kardashian’s and Chrissy Teigen’s of the world shouldn’t dominate all of the news all of the time.

I just heard that Bar Rafeli is pregnant too..so you are getting a lot more competition in your realm.

Can’t wait to see what fashion’s you bring back to LA.

Enjoy your babymoon.