Older Women at Music Festivals

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Older women should never attend music festivals.

And if they do decide to go, they should stay away from rock fashions like this:

old_lady

You may ask, “What’s wrong with an older woman going to her favorite rock concert?”  

Well, there are a lot of reasons why she shouldn’t go.  First,  I think these older women are just trying to relive some youthful experience they had at an Aerosmith, KISS, Wings, Crosby Stills and Nash, or Rolling Stones concert.   

Concerts that would still be ok in attending as an older woman  would be Josh Groban, or Michael Buble.  But, festivals like Coachella, Stagecoach, etc….are off limits to the aging concertgoer.  

Either way, older women who go to festivals are fooling themselves with their actual state of mind and body.  They aren’t rocking the bohemian look anymore.  They aren’t free-spirted gypsies.   Old lady hair might be more bleached, and body parts more saggy.  

There are two paths for older ladies who want to go to music festivals:

  • Become an old lady and spend most weekends shopping at Macys…    OR   
  • stay in a state of denial and look ridiculous at a concert that is too young for them.  

Let’s look at some facts of a woman who suffers from this horrific condition:

  1. Most of these women are probably divorced, and drinking/smoking way more than they should be for their age.  
  2. They have a false sense of self in how they really look against youthful concert goers.  Their clothes/hair are out of date…maybe still rocking a perm or feathered hair. 
  3. They still believe if they put some lipstick on, or wear a bra outside a shirt,  some tour manager will pull them from the crowd, bring them backstage for a private meet and greet, and get invited to an after-party.   
  4. They drink way more alcohol since they have way more money to spend on alcohol.   They have about 30 years worth of money saved ….more than an average youth.  
  5. Finally, they wear risque things that they normally wouldn’t wear at their over 55 clubhouse community pool. 

Sadly,  instead of looking like this……

08-california-country-music-festival-020511  they really look like this:

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