Dear Kate….just checking in…how’s baby Charlotte?

Dear Kate, Duchess of Cambridge,

I hope your short week at home has been restful.  I know England is still super excited about its new member of the Royal family.

I even saw Chef Jamie Oliver make a special Charlotte cake for teatime.  That’s like….. amazing!

I am sure baby Charlotte is making herself comfortable in the castle.  I think I saw her grimace once,  when all the twitter world was talking about the Sex and the City stuff.  

I know that must have been a low point in her early life.  But, scandals, gossip, and mockery usually fizzle out.

Sadly, there will always be gossip when you’re famous.  Remember this advice.

For example, what’s all the fuss about that Charles Spencer dude? I heard he also has a daughter named Charlotte.

Are your families not speaking to one another?

That seems like important information to have considered when you were naming your new daughter.

I feel sorry for the original Charlotte, ’cause now your daughter has taken over her namesake.  Ugh.  The inhumanity of it all!

Well, hope all is well, and that Prince William hasn’t booked you for some appearances next week, where it requires you to put on hosiery again.  That dress, by the way,  is still fresh in my mind.  Classy!

Let that belly bounce back on it’s own.

Don’t start doing that thing Kim Kardashian and Jessica Alba did, you know, “corsetting.”   The Victorian Age is long gone.  Ask your grandmum-in-law about that!

Ok.  Nice speaking to you.  I know you’re busy with the baby and I heard that Uncle Harry might be stopping by later, and you know that requires a lot of attention.

Cheers.

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