A Calabasas Prom starring Jaden Smith

Jaden Smith wore a dress to some Hunger Games actresses prom!

Instagram pic:jayden-smith-promWhich got me to thinking.

If you go to a Calabasas area prom,  dressed like a woman, are you on the same path as another famous ex- Calabasas resident………the infamous Bruce Jenner?

My theory:  Going to a Calabasas prom eventually leads to becoming a Malibu transgender like Mr. Jenner.  

Of course, we will have to watch Jaden Smith closely over the next 50 years to prove my theory.

Yahoo online celebrity news section was first to break the story… but US Weekly was on top of it,  too.

These are my take-aways from the Yahoo article:  (sorry US Weekly) 

  • “While Jaden opted to leave his superhero costume hanging in the closet this time around, he wore an equally unique outfit to prom no. 2.”
  • “Smith likes to experiment with “girl clothes,” so it wasn’t all that surprising that he showed up in a black-and-white dress, skinny black pants, and a black blazer for the occasion.”
  • “He accessorized with a fingerless white-and-gold glove and pair of sneakers.”
  • “The only traditional thing about the After Earth star’s look was his boutonniere.”

I can’t imagine Daddy Fresh Prince is happy about this….

Jessica Biel is Alive!

Hey guess what?

Jessica Biel finally ventured outside into the sunshine after having her Timberlake baby.  

This is like the most amazing news ever!

Thanks gossip magazines for your hard edge reporting.  I was kind of worried about Mrs. Timberlake.  I heard Justin might have some mama boy issues (another form of control) and was keeping her hidden away in their palatial home.

These are some key pieces of information I gathered from one ET article:

1432933838_jessica-biel-post-baby-body-article“A svelte Jessica Biel made her first post-baby appearance on Thursday, May 28 in Los Angeles”…

Svelte, a nice way to say hips, pudgy, or plus-size.

“...The new mom stepped out at Hollywood’s Sunset Gower Studios wearing a curve-hugging black-and-white jumpsuit and beige cardigan”…

OMG!! She wore a curve hugging jumpsuit…has she lost her mind? …no one looks good in a jumpsuit or a beige cardigan…  how “new mom” of her!

“A source tells ET that she was upbeat during the hour-long visit”….

Thank you valet at the Sunset Gower Studios, your observation of our new mom was nothing like I would expect of a new mommy: super tired, grumpy, and gassy.  I am glad she was keeping it “upbeat” like a 50s stereotype of a woman.

This hard hitting news story was definitely appreciated..thanks.

The Struggle of an Artist and the Beach

I always wondered to be an “artist”, you know like a musician, actor or a person who makes crafts, is there a daily struggle to live?

It’s not like it’s a 9 to 5 job.

Do they wake up at noon all the time?

Or stay up late every night “working” on their craft?

Do they even eat regular meals?  

It seems like such a selfish job, where everything about their life is avoiding real-life problems, like paying rent, or earning a regular paycheck.  

What’s even more annoying are that these artist types always have some sort of drama in their lives. 

When they write something on twitter,   it’s either about what song they love, or song they are having difficulty writing. They always complaining about something, or talking about some inspirational crap they are reading, or commenting about their favorite coffee shop, or exercise routine.

Some artists say they their creativity is stifled so that’s why they have to lay on a beach somewhere, to relax, and get inspired.    Puh lease…just be honest and say life is hard, I can’t deal with day to day living, so I am going to chill on a beach and drink some cocktails.

“It’s all for my craft…”  

Humidity is not a friend to your hair

Humidity is not a friend to anyone who has hair.

Yes.  If you have hair on the top of your head, humidity will always win over a great hair day.

First, the smooth locks will immediately frizz.

Second, if your hair is a little long, or short, or anything, the hair will magically shrink, curl, or give up.

Third, sweat will bead up and your hair will look as if you forgot to blowdry your locks.

On line shopping returns

469768026_origI hate making returns, especially on line shopping returns.

For most of the time, if I time things right, I have a package being delivered to my home at the same time I have package going back out.  

It’s perfect.  When the UPS driver drops off my new package, he can pick up all the unwanted ones.

Other times, I might get thrown for a loop when a company I thought was shipping by UPS, instead ships via the post office.

Ugh…the Postal Service?  

The post office would be my last choice of shipping method.  

Kardashian Women Dating Problems

The Kardashian Women.

With all their money, fame and everything else going on for them, why do they always make bad choices with the men in their lives?

Let’s start with

Momma Jenner:

  • Forget dating those youthful guys from LA.  Have some respect for yourself. Don’t you know these younger guys are looking for free cars or something.  You are in your 50s.  Why don’t you find a nice, sensible older man who has a yacht, older kids of his own, and spoils his dates with jewelry.

Kim:

  • We know you are your mother’s favorite, and the fact that you have Kayne as a husband, proves that point.

Khloe:

  • Khloe, you were always the chubbier sister, but now you are looking better than ever.  I admire your ambition to become slim.  You definitely have this fitness routine down!  But, as far as your love life is concerned, I think you’d be happier with a lawyer, chef, or anyone other than the ones you have been dating.

Kourtney:

  • You certainly have dominated the category of family reproduction.  I am amazed at your ability to have children, and it looks like pregnancies never bother you either.  I think you must be taking some kind of anti-depressant, because I have never seen you raise your voice, yell, or flip out on baby daddy Scott.  Maybe you should try to commit to a marriage with him.  He really wants that.

Kendall:

  • You are a top model, and you should be dating only rock stars like Ed Sheeran, or Justin Bieber.  Yes, you and Justin would make a lovely couple.

Kylie , the last sister, who I always forget:

  • Yes, you are the forgotten one.  I know you have this scandal going on with some rapper dude, but this is a great opportunity for you to go away to school, and become a doctor or something.

Windchimes are supposed to Chime

I bought a few wind chimes to hang outside.  

After looking around to find the perfect spot, I secured the windchime onto a small broken part of a limb.  It was a branch that hadn’t matured yet, so I was hoping that it would be ok to hold my fancy windchime.

Then there was silence.

I thought maybe once in a while when the wind blows I’d hear it, but even then, I was disappointed.

I only heard a slight chime….like a muffled song.

I guess it only works on a super windy day.

And on that day, I will not be sitting outside..  and the likelihood that my skinny branch would continue to support the windchime in those conditions would be suspect.

Oh well.

A Memorial Day Pool Party….Are you sure?

Memorial-Day-PartyMemorial Day Weekend involves going to a bbq or the beach…. but it’s still chilly outside.

It’s definitely a red, white, and blue weekend. In the market there were lots of red, white, and blue flowers, and some flags. I even noticed some festive cupcakes made to look like a flag.  Of course, there were lots of bbq items placed throughout the store, like corn on the cob, hamburger buns, watermelons, cupcakes, potato salads, and balloons.

I am not even sure I am going to bbq.  I might just watch a movie, or get some sleep.

Yesterday, a friend with an outdoor pool said,  “The pools’s open, come on over and swim this weekend.” Huh?  It was like 50 degrees last night…

Uh..unless that water is heated to about 80 degrees, there is no way I am going to freeze my bum, and eat some hamburgers.  I will wait until July 4th.  Thanks!

A whisk isn’t better than an electric mixer…

original_sad-cake-day-cake-stencilIf you bake a cake from a cake mix, make sure you mix it with an electric mixer, and not take a lazy shortcut like I did…. with a wire whisk.

There is a good reason for these instructions on the cake mix box. 

These were my mistakes in using a whisk instead of a mixer:

  1. I could not physically replicate the speed of a hand mixer.  No one can!
  2. Even though the dough looked mixed, after it came out of the oven,  the cake tasted like unmixed batter…it was a little off.
  3. Two minutes mixing with an electric mixer seems long, but it’s even longer when using a whisk.  I gave up after one minute from sheer exhaustion.
  4. Lastly, the cake will fail ….( it will!) ….and will taste like crap.  (It does!)

I had a sad cake day. 😦

Bob Dylan ….where are you going?

It’s sad to see David Letterman leave, but it’s probably time to end the show.  Sadly, the only thing left for late Night TV viewing are old SNL actors..  Yikes!

Bill Murray was on last night, and so was Bob Dylan.

Bob Dylan probably took a lot of paranoia pills last night, because he was unable to give Dave any deserved eye contact.  He wandered a little bit during the chorus, like he was looking for the exit.

He finished the song as best as he could.

David came over to say good job or something of that nature.

Bob Dylan totally dissed him.