Kentucky Derby Parties

The Kentucky Derby is this weekend, and even though I have no interest in seeing the race, I know it’s a big fashionista day for the stars and horse people.

Locally, there are Kentucky Derby viewing parties, or Kentucky Derby Wine Tasting parties, Mint Julep Tea parties, or Kentucky Derby Derby hat parties…..which seems kind of redundant.

The Kentucky Derby is 80% about the experience and 20% about the actual horserace.

Why?  It all comes down to fashion.

First, the hat.

Derby hats are not the most flattering, unless you are one of those people who can look good in any hat.  I heard Kelly Ripa is one of those girls who can rock any hat.

But, for most people,  when faced with a choice of wearing a  big ol hat or a baseball hat…most would choose the latter.

Finding the proper dress.

Dressing for one of these parties usually requires a girl to wear some pastel outfit,  or flowy dress,  or uptight white dress…but mostly a pastel fit and flare dress.

I think some women go over the top with bright colors, big dresses, or over accessorize with matchy matchy hat and shoes.  It’s like they are a big bowl of rainbow sherbet.

But, one thing I know when dressing for a Derby party is…. do not dress like you are going to a black tie event.

Sequins, sparkles, or ball gowns are dead giveaways that you are at the wrong party.  But that doesn’t mean one might not slip through the door.

Let’s look at this horrible fashion scenario:

  1. First, there might be one woman who goes to a Derby party in a nighttime cocktail dress or over the top ball dress.  She might have a proper derby hat, or a fascinator.. but it clashes with all the cotton and pastels in the room..
  2. Sadly, that one woman in the black sequin cocktail dress will be uncomfortable when she’s standing next to another woman wearing only espadrilles and a lilac cotton halter dress..   Yes..this is true.  The girl in the cocktail dress will be super self-aware and proper, but the girl in the espadrilles will be on her 4th mint julep, maybe with her hat already askew… or even off her head…
  3. Everyone will notice the odd ball out girl in the fancy dress.   Yikes!  Any girl’s worst nightmare..  
  4. There might be an excess of horse prints, horse scarves, horse earrings, horse necklaces, and horse purses in the room….those never go well with sequins.

Men need to dress Derby attire, too.  They will need to buy:

  • A new tie– bow or regular.
  • Socks– keep it colorful
  • Derby hat
  • Clothing with printed horses on it, or madras plaid….or pink.
  • Seersucker…  usually hard to wear
  • Linen suit / blazer or
  • Khaki pants

Happy Derby!

Public Library

I went to the public library because I had to find a unique book.

The last time I stepped foot into a public library was like four years ago.  But really, not much has changed:

  1. The ladies working behind the counters still look librarian- ishThe hipster revolution has not made these ladies/men into hipsters, you know, like the bearded men or bohemian women on the streets today..
  2. There weren’t any comfy couches; just some hard, dusty chairs, and school type desks with cubbies. Obviously, West Elm or Pottery Barn furniture was not even mentioned when they bought these items…
  3. The Internet section of the library was full of computers;  but it was antiquated.  The computers looked like old Dells,  and maybe even used floppy disks.
  4. The reference desk had a lot of papers, notices, post its, stacks of books, flowers, construction paper posters, and pamphlets for various library activities.  I wasn’t too keen in attending movie night of …. Something’s Gotta Give …at the library.
  5. The library unsuccessfully tried to look relevant with a funky “Cafe”.  But,  it was only a vending machine and some cafe tables. This must have been an idea from an employee who has since been fired.
  6. Many of the books in this library are from the heyday of libraries.. the 60s,  70s and 80s.  These books aren’t politically correct anymore.. or truthful.
  7. The special audio section of the library had numerous CDs / DVDs from the  80s/90s., too.     I think I saw a Burt Reynolds movie hanging out there.

I was given three book search options for my topic.

  • One book was located at another library 20 miles away.
  • The other was in the special, exclusive Reference section of the library.
  • The last was in the nonfiction section.

Ok. I thought, it shouldn’t be hard to locate two books in this place . My first stop was the reference library.

The book I was looking for must of been a valuable book, since it had been stamped on the inside and outside of the book REFERENCE ONLY, OFFICIAL PROPERTY OF THE LIBRARY, DO NOT REMOVE.

I guess the library was very worried that I would steal or take the book to another area of the library. There were signs up everywhere telling me to keep the book in Reference Only!

Normally,  I would not attach human feelings to an inanimate object, but these books were suffering in library prison.

Since I didn’t want to spend my whole afternoon reading up in a reference library,  I sought out a similar book that I could take out without any guilt.

That book was also among other lonely books in the free to leave section..

Finally,  when I went to check out my book, the library was harboring some anger against progress,  and decided to stick it to me one way or another:

  1. I was scolded for not updating my library card.  Uh…ok...
  2. I was told that I had some overdue book fees that needed to be paid.  $40.00 seems reasonable for 4 years..
  3. I was reminded that I couldn’t check out my new book unless I settled up my late fee bill ….uh..the last time this book was taken out was probably 1984?…

But according to the library system, I was guilty and had to pay a late fee fine.  Thanks!

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Sorry….no hot dog buns

A hot dog dinner….. without the bun…..is never a good idea.

Ok. Hot dogs are fun and easy and super delicious.

But what happens when you have to serve hotdogs and you forgot to pick up some hot dog buns, what do you do?  I have come up with a solution:

  1. Tell everyone there were no hot dog buns at the store….  Expect lots disbelief…..
  2. Serve hot dogs with lots of onions, and chili, and ketchup so the bun won’t be missed.   non- condiment lover will hate this option
  3. Cut a hamburger bun in half, and make it seem like that’s how they came.  Spatially, the hot dog will look like one of those jumbo frankfurters in a hamburger roll.
  4. Take a slice of bread and do the same thing…..  expect your company to get up and leave immediately…
  5. Tell everyone your gluten free now.  whoops!  Hide those other items  like potato chips, cookies, or cake in your cabinet.  

Silicon Valley in the Know

Ok. I watched Silicon Valley on HBO the other day, and I am getting the sneaky feeling that this show is more for Silicon Valley billionaires and those types who want to be on this show as either a character or real life person.   It’s a  very ego driven thing.

They probably had one of two conversations with the creators of the show like, “I am going to  pay HBO a lot of money,  only if you base a character on my rich self” ….

Whew!  There, I said it.  Whether or not that is true is up for discussion.  But, after watching this show, it is obvious that there is a hidden agenda, or similarities of certain Silicon Valley players being portrayed on this show.

Yes, those in Silicon Valley are more “in the know” than the rest of the world watching this show.

For example,

  1. Hooli is obviously Google.  So, anyone who works at Google is probably snickering, or secretly laughing at the parallel characters on the show.
  2. The main character of the person who runs Hooli,  is loosely based on similar characteristics of the Billionaire Superman, Mr. Brin….?  Is he really like that in person?
  3. Does Brin really wear beaded bracelets, and travel with a personal Yogi / or spiritual guide with him at all times?
  4. Is there really an obnoxious, guido type VC out there that no one likes to associate with?  There must be!

I really want to know!

But what is more annoying is the actual placement of real people, intermixed with actors.

For example, the no name tech crunch journalists and panelists from last season;   or the re/code editors from this recent episode.  I am pretty sure they are all Hollywood now.

We always see people from the Journalism and TV news world pretending in movies and TV shows.  Just like the billionaires, everyone wants to be relevant in this microcosm of California…including tech journalists.

Spring cleaning

When it comes to spring cleaning, it really matters

  1. how motivated you are to start
  2. and how motivated you are to procrastinate.

But, I did go on a cleaning frenzy at the store.

I picked up a new broom, a new scrubber, some cleaning products, a new tub cleaner thingy, and some fragrant plug ins.  Even the friendly check out lady said, “Doing some spring cleaning?

I replied, “Why yes, what better day,  than a day like today….

Well….the broom is in the closet.The scrubber is by the sink.The plug in is in the wall.

I think I am 1% done.

Until tomorrow..

The Real Housewives of…

My decision to watch some Bravo TV, especially  The Real Housewives of…(insert city) . …  is always a good decision.

I love that even if I miss a show, I can watch it later. Yea!  I admit it…. I have spent many a late night catching up on the Housewives.  They do matter. Yep.  They do.

However, out of all the The Real Housewives series on Bravo, the Australia one is the least popular in my book. Why?

First, the episodes are only on demand.  I am not even sure if Bravo shows them during day/or nighttime hours.

Also, it seems like the Australian women all have the same affinity for poor hair and makeup.  Sadly, they seem stuck in another decade.

From their garish eyeshadow, to sprayed up hairstyles, it’s like Australia just started the 80s all over again.  It reminds me of the women on Dynasty… ..makeup is overdone, hair is super fried, and its hard to get into their story-lines, because I can’t stop critiquing their awful hair and makeup.

Sorry Australia.

Really….I think because the Housewives of New York, OC, Atlanta, Beverly Hills, and maybe NJ are the originals, it is hard to compete.

With this original group, you can expect attractive people, and good choices in clothing and hair.  You can always count on them looking amazing. …also, good character plots involving yelling, screaming, spending, partying, and vacationing in exotic locations make anything more exciting…..It’s obvious they spend lots of money on hair, makeup, and stylists.

.. Those hair wigs can’t be cheap!

Also, Bravo is really bringing the shows this season.  There’s  Southern Charm which I still haven’t decided is worth my time; the Shahs of Sunset-  a show with lots of Kardashian-like women; and finally, Million Dollar Listing-  a show of fun loving men in real estate.

Free Workout Video Day

I was very motivated to fit in some fitness today, after realizing the morning was almost turning into mid afternoon.

I am always looking for some interesting at home workouts, and remembered the cable company had some free workout videos.  I searched in the menu, looked under sports, and voila, found the fitness videos of unknown fitness pros.

The cable company gave it a special name to make you feel like you were enrolling in some fitness class from the 1990s— “sports skool”

Skool is a casual hip-hop reference to school.  Since there was no pressure to enroll, and no guilt of dropping out of “skool,”  it seemed like a good compromise.

I clicked on the menu, and went through my options.

First, there were 15 different yoga classes:  Vinyasa Flow, strength yoga, cardio boxing, arm burns, etc.  The names were pretty non descriptive.

I decided on a floor exercise only concept, called ‘Floor Fitness”

I briefly fast forwarded to see how long and  difficult the workout was going to be.  It seemed ok.

I told myself to commit to at least 20 min of the 45 min workout.

Well…after 10 minutes, this floor workout was killing me.  It was hard.  The concept of this exercise included all the mat workouts of  pilates, with yoga, and calisthenics.

There was one point in the routine where I had to support my side with my bent arm and do arm push ups.

I wasn’t feeling the burn like the kind instructor suggested, but I was feeling the embarrassment of the foolish workout poses.

After finishing about 20 minutes, I turned the TV to Bravo and watched some Housewives.

Probably why you have better luck working out at the gym, and not by being so close to the TV remote.  Less temptation.

Supermarket Surpises

The supermarket definitely has its little surprises….

I was very lucky today to choose a checkout lane that seemed quick,  but also one chock full of supermarket gossip.

In fact, my new friend working at the check out today, is now known as the “super chatty chock full of gossip checkout girl.”

First, we exchanged pleasantries.
Hello….How are you?

Yeah…yeah…let’s get to work I thought.  I was running a little late.

I figured since I was running a little late, I’d try to help pack some bags with her.  I was a pro at bagging groceries, because, it is a long learned skill that I have acquired over the years.

Well, obviously, I was unaware that she had her own system.

Needless to say, I was a little confused.

First, she scanned a few items, and placed them in the bagging area.

Unbeknownst to me, she was trying to match items that fit perfectly together, either by bulk items or perishable items.  I thought some items she discarded,  and left alone in the bagging area were dibs for anyone.

Boy, was I wrong.

She immediately told me “I have a system.”

I immediately said,   “Oh, that makes sense… I”ll let you do your thing,”  and I kindly walked back to my waiting, empty cart.

As the bags were piling up, I started loading my wagon.

Soon enough, super chit chatty gossip checkout girl told me a few stories of her job.

“If you think my system is slow, I have a customer who tells me to bag everything according to color…”

Uh,  I thought, that’s a little presumptuous, and annoying at the same time.

“And to top that off,” she continued, “I have another customer who hands me all her things, one by one, and will refuse to place them on the belt.”

 
Germaphobe for sure,”  I said laughing.

“Yes, and she also has her whole cart wrapped in produce plastic bags so she doesn’t touch anything.”

 “Mmm.. She must shop at night?”, I asked.

“Yes,  she always does, but none of us want to check her out.   She criticizes us if we do something out of order, or not to her liking... so it’s pretty stressful to be scolded and also to have to deal with a big order,  one by one.”

Understandably.

Wow.   How come I never see these people when I shop…